Hey there, friends!
Happy Monday! And, thank you for spending a little bit of your day with me. 🥰
Oftentimes I find myself writing these #mondaymotivation posts + blogs early morning over my second cup of coffee before the rest of the house is up and at ’em. The motivation typically is driven by something or somethings that have moved me in one way or another over that past week.
And, today’s is just like that. Like so many of you, I have lived with labels or “definitions” my entire life. Some that I liked. Others that were mortifying. Some of these labels or definitions were based on my own actions or mistakes and others were, well, just not.
I would like to say that labeling is a kid or teen thing. But, life tells me otherwise. And as adults, many of us now face the frustration of labels not only on our individual self or business, but also on our children. Blahhhhhh 🙁
I wish I could be writing with some method to pass along to you on how to make the name-callers, labelers, and definers of the world stop with their behaviors. But, I don’t have that knowledge.
But, I did want to pass along some simple advice that I use when up against people that want to label and define me, my business, or my family without knowledge of what they are talking about and the simple philosophy we teach our children when managing bullies.
First, it is most important to stop and ask yourself if the definition or label is true. If it is, then as my mother use to say- If the shoe fits Cinderella, Wear it!
If you identify that the label or definition put on you by another that you do not like but is a true assessment- thats’ ok!! Now you have an opportunity for growth and change! Make that change happen!
But, if you determine that the label or definition is not accurate do three things:
1. Ask yourself if you are acting in good character, if you are being a good person, good business owner, and if you are doing the best you can in that given moment. Own your mistakes and grow from them. As Maya Angelou said: Do the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better, do better.
2. Remind yourself that nobody will say something hateful about you that isn’t a direct reflection of a fear or insecurity of themselves. Let their words go and pray that they can find some contentment to fill this gap for themselves.
3. Keep going. Looking at someone’s motivations for the mean things they are saying about you or your business might give you some insight. But, at the end of the day we are all responsible for our own selves. Keep your head up. Keep using your gifts. Keep that fierce self lighted for those who you are meant for.
I love Toni Morrison’s quote:
Definitions belong to the definers, not the defined.
We teach our kids that words are powerful- because they are!!! But, they are also only as powerful as you allow them to be. If someone else’s words unfairly criticize something, you can make the choice to not hear them. It takes practice- like anything else.
I hope you never deal with those that want more to hurt you than they want to spend helping others. But, folks, we cannot control other’s behaviors. We can only control how we respond to them.
If you are working through tough situations with hurtful people, practice remembering that Definitions belong to the definers, not the defined.
Find your tribe. Love them big. Those that care about you and others in your life will take the time to get to know you, your situation, and figure out how they can help keep your crown straight. They will not try to take you off your path.
Now, go get it friends! You’ve go this. Be an advocate for others’ successes. Cheer louder than the rest. Be a crown straightener.
It is just better that way. ❤️
